Twice in one day. I know. I'm ridiculous.
I'm just so damn tired of hypocrisy. This potent mix of hate, hurt, anger, resentment, and a desperate longing for someone to be real... for someone to understand... or even care instead of standing in judgement of me.
Honestly, what do they know? There is a tide of happenings that they know nothing of. They don't understand the relationship... mostly because they are not part of it, and thier selfish minds want to be part of everything. How can they expect that they would understand the depth of this relationship? It is God inspired. There are secrets that have been long buried, dusty parts of my heart that I have dared to expose to Travis. Because he is trustworthy. Because he comforted me. Because I know he loves me no matter what.
And then, they expect me to explain to them... but why would I expose the hurt parts of my heart to someone who will further tear it apart? If I showed them it was still beating, instead of urging it onward, encouraging it's bravado, they would squash it under their boot.
They say the problem with christianity is the Christians. The word Christianity makes me think religion. I hate religion. I love Jesus. The wonderful thing about people who love Jesus is that they begin, over time, to resemble him. Jesus was wild. Jesus was unorthadox. Jesus broke all the wrong rules and kept all the right ones. Jesus stood out enough to change the world for eternity. The problem with bible school is the amount of people who are simply Christians, but who do not love Jesus.
1 comment:
I'm sorry. It's so tough to be around people who bring you down, when you should be flying high. I'm sorry that they are judging you. They are jelous. What they are saying and thinking is not coming from God at all. I do pray that you can somehow, try to put everything you hear and see behind you, out of your mind, clear out of your head, because these are supposed to be the hppiest days of your life! You are getting married to the man of your dreams in 109 days woman! I pray that NOTHING people say will ever damppen your spirits, and that God will belss you and Travis in whatever you do with your lives together!!
Oh, just to let you know, I'm real, I understand, and I have never, and will NEVER judge you. You have God in you, you love God. I am the same way. You are my sister, and no matter what you do (invaide my space bubble) I will always love you! ALWAYS!!!
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