Random thoughts on mortality

It's tuesday.
Tuesday.
I have to leave on Sunday. It seems that time is flying away and I am trying to catch up with it.
That seems to happen a lot though. Time's swift motion reminds me of my mortality. Life is only good because God is bigger than mortality. That makes me a little less afraid.

I suppose it seems that at this rate, I will be a Grandmother, sitting in her rocking chair humming " Just as I am," thinking how I had never really caught up to time.

Interesting how God knows how many days we are to live before we begin a one of them, and yet we have such a strong instinct to keep ourselves alive. Our drive of self preservation gives of fear of anything that is irrational or dangerous.

Yet, do we really have reason to fear?

These thoughts seem to be filling my mind more and more these days.

I am not afraid to go to heaven. On the contrary, nothing inspires, amazes, excites, and comforts me more than the knowledge that one day I will see my Father face to face.

I am afraid to die. I shouldn't be. The bible says " Yea though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil, for thou art with me." I should have no fear in life or death.

Perhaps I am simply being morbid, and I should not even think about these things for many years. Nineteen years full of life, heartbreak, love, laughter, friendship, worship, music, and amazing moments that no one, least of all me deserves... they have been wonderful. Any other years that I have to live will hopefully be full of the same.

Yet I continue to ponder mortality.