Still thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my life. It should be simple you know. I should just be married, having babies, and completely secure. But, because of my independent and flighty nature I haven't made it that far yet. ( yes I am sober as I write this, just a little hopped up on cold medication.)
I am thinking that I might have lost my marbles, thinking about someone who is younger than me. But, my brain insists on arguing with me, it is only a year. And then there is the straight out fact that he isn't classed among most people as the best looking fellow they have ever seen. But Damn does he ever look good in that cowboy hat. And then, it would be so nice to be totally adored by someone again. I miss that, I really do. We want the same things out of life for the most part... why does love and all that jazz have to intrude upon a decision that is already difficult to make? It just doesn't make sense, it's not fair.
The truth is that whether I decide to go or not, God will bless me because he is faithful. He is always faithful. The truth is that if I don't date Levi then I will probably still find someone who will make me happy because there are a million guys out there. But there are truths that contradict truths, and lies that seem to agree with truths, and all in all they are spinning out of control in a circle that I am standing in the middle of. I hear voices all around me telling me which ways to go, where to turn, telling me how to figure out the quicksand that is settling under my feet. Eventually I am going to have to stand on my own two feet and decide what I am going to do. I can't stay deciding forever.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I understand chickie! An extremely knowledgeable woman, **cough*you*cough**, once told me, that you have to do what’s right for you. Do what your heart tells you!
Well….easier said then done, I know! But you know what? It will happen. Your heart, as well as my heart will know. There is no wrong decision for either one of us. Remember, we do not make mistakes. God already knows what were going to be doing in the next second let alone for the next year of our lives. God has our lives planed for us to do His will in His time. Our decision, no matter what it is, will happen for many, many, many, different reasons, and I’m good with that as I’m sure you are too. Keep praying!
Luv ya’s! (hugs) (haha I know, I don’t give hugs, but today, I will make an exception!)
Post a Comment