life

It's late, or should I say early. I don't know what possesses me to work where I am nearing the end of my workday at five in the morning. I must be crazy. AT least I brought my laptop. Interesting the way I have a cup of nasty old coffee, a half eaten peice of pizza, and a notebook and I feel compelled to write in my blog.

Wisdom? Perhaps not. Who really knows?

We lost someone else today. I am so afraid that I will become hard to it. To death, to loss. It seems so strange that one minute we are hugging people's bodies, caressing them, kissing their foreheads, holding their hands... and the next day; the next hour, they are gone. Their bodies are void of themselves. They are a shell. Empty. Their body does not give them any sort of satisfaction any longer. They don't even care about it anymore.

I just walked out of the nursing station and found someone peeing on the floor. He just stuck himself out the door enough to ensure that the pee did not land in his room, but all over the hallway floor instead, running down it in a yellow stream. I told him to go back to bed. He said ok, and then did. Interesting. I really have to admit that it is interesting. I wonder, am I simply become a better nurse, or am I in some way becoming cold, becoming distant.
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But then I remember all of the kisses on the forehead, all the times that I have sang to them, all the times I have taken the time to make them tea. I am not cold. Perhaps I am just seeing life in one more way.

Makes me wonder how many ways God sees life.