Do I know what I want?

Life is funny sometimes. It seems like mine is a soap opera, and it has been since the day that I turned fourteen ( well maybe not the day, but that was the year anyways). Love interests have fluttered in and out, the men that really want me bad, I don't usually seem to want. Of course there's lots of them that I do want, but once I get them, I'm not so sure that I want them anymore. So I drop them. Maybe I'm crazy... but I don't think so. For the first time in my life, I don't feel an all consuming desire to find just the right person. I am fine where I am at.

Maybe part of my new peace with myself comes from figuring out who I am. I was so busy trying to make the perfect man appear and fall in love with me, that I forgot to get to know myself. The moment I stopped looking, I found something I didn't expect. . .me. I am a farm girl. I love farm things, I love my horses, the cattle, the smell of a freshly tilled feild after a rain. I love the wide open spaces.

I went on a date with a guy who had soft hands, made me a wonderful supper served with flowers and wine, showered me with gifts and compliments. . . but it wasn't right. It just wasn't manly to me. Maybe i am the only woman in the world who feels like that. . . but I don't think so.