journeys

Ahh the journeys that God takes me on.
Journeys of brokeness, restoration, pain and healing. He really is an emotional God. Sometimes I think that we separate ourselves from our emotions, and that isn't good. He didn't!

We did something last Thursday and Friday called a " 24 Hour Solo Time."

It was amazing! God and I had this little argument about it, I said " Nope, not going. There is no way I can spend that long by myself in complete meditory silence." He said " Yes, you are going. I need some alone time with you to talk about stuff. I am not a silent God, but I want you to be quiet for a while and listen to me."

To make a long story short, he won.

It was the most amazing 24 hours of my life. Instead of feeling isolated, I spent the whole time feeling like I was jealously guarding my honeymoon time with my lover. Had someone tried to talk to me I would not have been receptive.

God and I have been talking about releasing things. I have heard it said that releasing something to God means holding it with an open hand, instead of keeping a deathgrip on it. It means holding it so that he can take it away at any time.

Close, but not dead on.

What I have learned is that I need to give it up completely, release my hands from it in any manner shape or form. I need to give it to him, and then he will do with it what he wants. This requires trust. I would think that trusting the God of the universe would be easy. From a theological standpoint, it should be.

It's not.

Trusting God means letting go of everything important, and saying " Okay, you can take it away if you want. I don't need it. It is myy hearts desire but it isn't as important as you are." Not so easy to say when something matters to you.

So, finally I grasped this concept. I gave up. There was something in particular in my life that I gave up. Freedom.

Which is interesting because we are now studying living free in Christ...