gotta fix that.

So, life continues. It's not in a bad direction... at all. I love life. Today was a good day. Sometimes the mix of feminine hormones, and the stress of balancing ( or at least attempting to) school work, friend time, my relationship with my hubby, work, and the masses of wedding planning leave me feeling like the roof will cave in. But it doesn't. I keep going. Remembering that we only have 108 days until I am married, and will never have to share living space with 35 girls ever again, seems to help me maintain some amount of sanity.

Spats. Conflict. Controversy. I am not good at them. I put up a facade. A mask, if you will. The tough cowgirl. The one who can take on the world. I may be little but I'm strong. Then, I try to back up my big tough claims with a vast amount of picking tiny little fights. Silly ones. Giving someone heck when really it doesn't even matter to me. Or when the person doesn't matter to me. But when something really matters I have such a hard time. I would rather swallow the hurt and not say anything. So my anxiety builds. It eats me. I think I am so afraid of people not liking me, or of people loving me less because I actually stated my feelings, that I hurt myself.
I've gotta fix that.